I doubt many of us can truthfully say that they’ve never made a new year’s resolution, the new year brings with it time for reflection and the drive to better ourselves. If you have made resolutions in the past, you’re likely familiar with the pattern of excitement and drive to complete your new goals, the certainty that ‘this year I’m actually going to do it!’, followed soon after by the slump that kicks in about mid-January when you realise that perhaps the goal of losing 10 kilo in two weeks or organising your entire life was a bit much to tackle. So rather than setting yourself the same resolution as last year, let me suggest an alternative way to set goals that will help you to flourish. I’m talking about the PERMA model, which is at the core of positive psychology, and gives us an easy recipe for what ‘the good life’ needs; positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishment.
Positive emotions
The ‘P’ in PERMA stands for positive emotions and getting this part right carries benefits like increased health and longevity, improved relationships and better resilience.
New year’s resolution: Practice thinking of 3 good things that happened to you each day, they don’t have to be big things it might just be ‘I am grateful that I have a healthy working body’ or that ‘I got to spend time with a loved one’. Gratitude is a great way to increase our positive emotions!
Engagement
Engagement is all about those times when you lose yourself in the moment because you’re doing something that you love. Engagement is about using our strengths and when we are using our strengths we experience improved wellbeing and self-esteem.
New year’s resolution: Complete the VIA character strength free survey to discover your unique strengths. Brainstorm ways in your everyday life that you can use your top strengths.
Relationships
All relationships within our lives have an impact on our wellbeing, not just romantic ones. Having positive relationships and meaningful connections with others actually makes us healthier and happier.
New year’s resolution: prioritise your relationships, dedicate quality (device free) time to connect with your children/partner/friends/co-workers. This might mean something like setting aside an hour a week where you spend time one on one with your child doing something that they enjoy.
Meaning
Meaning involves feeling like what we do day today is worthwhile and that we are working towards something greater than ourselves. A sense of meaning helps us to feel satisfied with our lives and bounce back faster when things get tough.
New year’s resolution: Make a list of the things that are REALLY important to you, the things that you value the most then set a meaningful goal based upon what you value. When our goals align with our values we are more likely to see them through.
Accomplishments
By setting ourselves goals and achieving them we can gain a sense of achievement that increases our wellbeing. The key here is to not set unrealistic goals, break your goals down into smaller parts so that you can boost your sense of achievement along the way to bigger goals.
New year’s resolution: Adopt a growth mindset, stop believing that you can’t do something and work on it! Everyone can become good at a whole range of things if they work on it, the issue is most people see a setback and give up, believing they will only fail if they try again. By having a growth mindset you can achieve things you never thought you could, because you are able to continue past challenges, knowing the key to success is persistence and effort rather than luck or sheer talent.
Do you think you’ve been setting the wrong new year’s resolutions? Perhaps it’s time to shake things up with PERMA!
If you would like to know more about positive psychology and PERMA Danielle Buckleywill be holding a series of wellbeing retreats for women on positive and coaching psychology, see https://www.facebook.com/TheCoachingPsychologist/ for more details. Hit ‘like’ to stay updated on future events!